Dear Sally, My father’s last wish was to have his ashes scattered from The Matterhorn, Switzerland’s famous mountain peak. It was a very special place for him. That’s where he met my mother, and her herd of goats. He asked us to say a special poem and let his ashes become one with the alpine scenery. So we packed our bags, and the urn containing his ashes, and flew to Zurich.
But when we arrived, my suitcase containing the urn was missing! We’ve been waiting in Zurich for seven days, and the bag still hasn’t turned up. I go to the airline office every day. I’m running out of money and I’m chainsmoking I’m so anxious. What can I do? Helga Dammit.
I’m so sorry to hear of your predicament. Zurich, while beautiful, has limited charm after a week. I believe there’s now an app for bag tracking, but it’s too late for that. Your bag could be in Bogota by now. Could you improvise on a South American mountaintop? Seriously though, there’s always a chance your bag will turn up. Did you know that 3,000 pieces of luggage get lost every hour of every day, according to one website promoting its own luggage-tracking system? Well, they would say that, wouldn’t they? Apparently most of them turn up eventually.
If you sue the airline for emotional distress, and win, you could upgrade to a better hotel and go shopping while you wait. Never underestimate the healing power of thrashing the plastic in a frenzy of retail therapy. Chainsmoking won’t help, unless you want to save the ash and consider chucking that off The Matterhorn instead. Just a thought.
Graciously yours, Sally.
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